“Survivance is an active sense of presence, the continuance of native stories, not a mere reaction, or a survivable name. Native survivance stories are renunciations of dominance, tragedy and victimry.”
– Gerald Vizenor, from Manifest Manners: Narratives on Postindian Survivance
I was sitting the other day thinking about life, about interpersonal politics, and about how people don’t seem to understand how profound it can be to grow up with cultural difference within the American dominant culture. I grew up around white people, went to an all white (but me and a family from Laos) junior high and high school. I have always understood that there’s a 1% problem. But I’ve also always been aware of methods to survive and thrive. The word for that, I’d learn later in my life, is survivance.
In the era of Trump, I think more than ever it might be worth it to take a moment to offer a ten point manifesto on how to live a life that continues YOUR traditions and limits the chances people have to victimize and dominate you. I know that few of my friends and readers are Native, but trust me, these are ideas anyone could adopt. It’s more of a Mixed-Blood Cherokee rethinking of the Golden Rule smashed up with an understanding of contemporary globalized America.
So here we go. Ten points to live a life as a cultural survivor who can operate within the America we know today.
- Don’t try to love everyone, because that’s a recipe for failure. But pick your people– your “family” as it will be (not necessarily biological, though you should accept that you will be the shepherd of the generation before and after you if you’re a good person, just as they took care of you before). I am an exceedingly cautious person. There are probably four people in this group for me. But once you pick those people, love and trust them unconditionally. You need that support, and you need that trust to survive in this dark world. Of course you can re-think that as is prudent, but you have to believe in and trust your net. You don’t keep score with these people, because you don’t need to. If you wouldn’t jump out of bed at 3 am on a second’s notice to help them, you do not love them unconditionally. And if they wouldn’t do the same for you, you picked badly.
- For everyone else, this will sound trite, but don’t trust anyone. I know there’s an adage of “trust but verify,” but that’s a fool’s game. Do not be paranoid, but you will live a much safer, more comfortable life if you do not extend trust to people who are new to your life, who you haven’t seen undergo trial by fire, etc. I deeply respect and in fact would go so far as to say I love many of my co-workers. But I also know that other than the one of them that’s in the list of people I mentioned in point 1, I cannot give my co-workers unconditional trust because while they’ll help me, and I’ll help them, and most of them are wonderful people, if something goes wrong, they will not risk their careers or status to protect me. And that’s okay. That’s smart living. But sometimes there’s an impression that being a good person means you offer unconditional trust. To do that is to be a fool.
- Don’t depend on the philosophy of the 1% to guide you through your life. What I mean is if you want to understand rhetoric, read stuff from the dominant culture, but make sure you temper it with pieces from overlooked or minimized cultures. And when you study the dominant culture, look for moments where it is being transparent. Don’t count on the Bill of Rights to explain western culture. Read The Prince by Machiavelli. Read any Indigenous work you can find. Read what women from various cultures managed to preserve. Read Eastern works (the Art of War and the Tao Te Ching offer more of value than the whole of Burke’s catalog).
- Know history, but KNOW it. Don’t read the dominant history and stop. For example, read deep enough to know that “Thanksgiving” was actually a celebratory moment after a massacre of Natives. Know that America only entered W0rld War II because Japan attacked us and that if we’re being honest with the evidence, Roosevelt didn’t express outrage over what Hitler was doing until Pearl Harbor. Great Britain dominated most of the world because their food sucked and they wanted spices and other resources. These are just a few of the things that aren’t part of the dominant narrative. You need to know history, because of you don’t, you become part of the group of people like my fellow Hoosier who voted for Trump because you want to get rid of the illegal immigrants, but you believe he doesn’t mean good people like your illegal husband. In other words, being ignorant of history really does doom you to repeat it– that cliche is accurate.
- You will accrue debt, to people and to institutions. Minimize this by understanding that there are expectations and realities. For example, if you must borrow from a friend or family member, be up front about the fact that you don’t know when you can pay them back. Don’t take a loan with any sort of collateral you can’t stand to lose, and when you must, insure you handle that debt. Realize that your “credit score” is a number established to maintain the structure that dominates the poor anyway, so your concern with it should be secondary to your survival. If you miss a payment on a credit card, you missed a payment. You won’t die. You won’t go to prison. You will lose some credit score points, but treat that stress with the respect it deserves. A late bill payment isn’t ideal, but compared to being brutally attacked in the street, going without food or shelter, having no medical care, etc. it’s a very small thing. And when you owe a friend something, you will see the truth of that friendship, because…
- Never give anything you expect to get back in turn. This is why I said in point one to pick the people you don’t keep score with. Those people you just give to and in turn take from. Anyone else you should never give so much to that you feel you are putting yourself at risk, because you cannot count on people to be reliable in returning things they take. This is where you must meter out your trust carefully.
- It might seem cruel, but with anyone who isn’t part of your most trusted inner-circle, keep score of when you give. This doesn’t mean to only give of yourself when you see a benefit (though that is certainly a survival tactic), but what I mean here is keep track of when you do things for people who might be helpful to you in the future, and don’t be afraid in a key moment to remind those people that you helped them and that, more importantly, they might want your help again. This is what the social contract is supposed to be, and Western culture loves its social contract.
- It probably seems only appropriate that I’d quote Rage Against the Machine here, but for the love of all things that matter KNOW YOUR ENEMY. The most common problem I can see in Western society is this binary bind where there are white hats and black hats. That’s not how it really works. There will be people who are good people but who work against your best interest. There will be people who are terrible people morally and ethically (perhaps even legally) who have no bearing on your life. Sometimes the villain can champion your case. Politicians are usually going to be your enemy if you aren’t part of the dominant culture, and it’s important to realize that. The Police are sworn to protect and serve, but if you know anyone who is Black in America you know that’s not always the case. Not every educator has your best interests at heart, even if they think they do. You don’t have to treat all your enemies as you might expect to treat your enemies, but you need to approach the world with your eyes open. You need to know who isn’t really on your side.
- Get used to falling down and figure out how to stand up, even when badly wounded, and keep walking. I saw a funny post on Reddit the other night where a person shared a story of people swapping salt for the sugar at his table, then laughing as he shook salt into his coffee. Instead of giving them the satisfaction, the guy shotgunned hot salty coffee while staring at the pranksters. So… that. Maybe not so literally, but the worst thing you can do is show signs of weakness. Because when you’re a person that others expect to fail, any time you stumble that stumble will be used as evidence that you couldn’t do what they can do. This, of course, comes from a collective that stumbles and falls pretty much every single day, because A: it has the comfort of being the dominant culture and hence allowed to define success and B: most people fail more than they succeed anyway because that’s what being a human being is about.
- You have to learn to operate in their system of values but not care what they think. I was once dressed down by a colleague at the University for wearing sneakers to teach. I happen to have, in this order of severity: A. one leg longer than the other from a car accident when I was five years old that shattered my femur, B. arthritis in that knee due to damage done and the presence of a pin for over a year, C. I destroyed the other knee in a freak sports injury trying to block a shot (made the block, though), so even after surgery it pops and snaps, D. the shorter of my two legs has a chronically tight Achilles tendon that sometimes partially tears from tension E. I have chronic planar facia problems on that same foot because the Achilles pulls that facia too tight F. I’m overweight, and G. that particular semester I slipped on a patch of black ice and fell under my car, causing bursitis in my hip so bad I couldn’t walk for almost three weeks and had to teach my winter term online class lying in my bed rotating heat and ice. Dress shoes, even boots with normal soles, aggravate all those conditions. So fuck you, I’ll wear my sneakers to teach, because shockingly enough my ability to share thoughts, design things and teach writing have nothing at all to do with my footwear. You must adopt a similar attitude to thrive, because anything you do that is different will be targeted by people. You can’t be hurt when they’re upset because they assume you have nothing to say simply because you wouldn’t interrupt them and no one bothered to give you space to speak, even when you clearly indicated that you had something to add. You can’t take it to heart when they tell you that you should go do research at a Casino. You can’t even take it to heart when they tell you that they don’t “buy” that you’re from another culture because you act so much like everyone else. If you let these things bother you, you will not have time to live your life, because it is always going to be something. A person can be good to you and be a good friend and ally and supporter, but people as a collective are almost always end up alienating those who are different just to feel their own sense of belonging. So learn to let it go, and pick your times to pop off. It’s better to be the person with a fist raised than the person under the boot heel, but it’s better still to let it go and talk to your trusted friends later about the crazy thing that happened to you that day.
Go forth and thrive, my friends. And if you find yourself in a moment of panic, draw on another quote from Rage Against the Machine. It’s no longer the time to ask WWJD? That works when you can afford to always turn the other cheek. This isn’t a world where you can turn so many times you get beaten down to the ground. Sometimes you have to reach up and grab the hand as the slap comes.
It’s time to proclaim FYIWDWYTM.
Be your own person. Be proud of who you are. Survive. Thrive.
Anyone who tells you that you don’t have the right to that is your enemy.