We’re a day removed from my week of wrestling geekdom, and in response to that, I want to start this week with a wrestling style promo.
*cues theme music, pyro, walks slowly to ring as fans chant along with music. Looks to camera, points to Phillmania sign. Music cuts*
Oh, colleagues who talk trash on your students! That’s right, I’m talking to you, person who makes the comment about how student ideas don’t matter in the faculty meeting. Listen up, and pause for a minute for the benefit of those with flash photography as I remove my hoodie and give these students what they paid for.
I know that Nick Lowe told us we have to be cruel to be kind, but I think there’s a chance he was wrong. I see all of you coming out to the ring with your classical music, wearing your hipster skinny jeans and your tweed elbow patches. You know what? The Phill doesn’t give a roody-poo-candy-mcnugget if you think you’re too good to teach. You work at a university! You get paid because of the students in those chairs.
Also, and the Phill isn’t kidding when he points this out to you, only have your career because some other group of academics tolerated you when you were the one who had the ideas you now think are half-baked, when you had the concerns that you think are immature. Someone mentored you and showed you support while you were sniffling-and-crying about it being too much work. The Phill doesn’t want to hear your song and dance about how it was hard for you because IT WASN’T HARD ENOUGH. You’re here, and you don’t belong here.
If you want to pick on someone, come pick on me. I’m one of the students who had weird ideas, who cared about his intellectual property, who questioned when the syllabus wasn’t followed, who caused groups to fall apart because I didn’t want to do the work others weren’t doing. I was the student you talk about in the hallways, in staff meetings. In fact, when I was an undergrad one of my well respected professors told me that i was that student and that he was giving me an A- just to “teach me a lesson.”
So if you want to come at someone, if you feel you need to talk shit, come at me, brah. Come at the version of yourself with the experiences you’ve had. Come at the person who is older, like you, and actually knows better.
If I hear you shittalk a student I know doesn’t deserve it, it’s your ass. If you smell… what the Phill… is typing.
*micdrop*
Okay, seriously, out of wrestling promo genre, I know that probably 80% of the people who find their way to this site are academics.
For you, I offer a simple question.
Do you love students? Do you value ideas and diversity? Will you support students you know will fail because that failure is their attempt to do their best and to learn and do better?
If you can’t answer all of those with a yes, go to your office, put your things in a box, and leave.
This isn’t a field where we make money. You have enough education to make money somewhere else. This is a place where we value learning and value having the chance to nurture young people.
I was in satire mode above with the wrestling promo style callout, but not by much. If you talk trash about students around me, I’m going to call you out. And while I’m a very polite person, I have a talent for making people really, really uncomfortable. That’ll be you, if you cross me on this.
The good part is all I expect is for you to not be a walking piece of shit, so odds are low you’ll cross me. Unless, you know, you’re a piece of shit. Then you deserve nothing more than you get.