I just caught up on some stuff from Joss Whedon’s ex-wife. Looks like I was too busy with other stuff to see this blow up last month. I’m not personally certain I want to just take her word at face value as fact, but honestly, the way I’ve watched hero after hero fall into the stink of being a shitty person, I’m not going to stage a defense.
This reminds me of a talk I had with Julie years-and-years ago, long before we were married. It’s a topic we’ve talked about again, but I think I put it best a long time ago, as it’s a topic that pains me.
I mentioned a performer. I forget which one. I think it was was a comedian. I was talking about his work. And she pointed out something awful he’d done. I wasn’t sure how to react. I mean– it’s not an accusation to do that, but it’s sort of disarming. I don’t usually think of myself as endorsing all of a person’s beliefs and activities by liking their art. I realize, though, that I’m perhaps in a minority in doing that.
I remember when there was a rumor going around that Louis CK had done something pretty awful to a female friend. It was never confirmed, which I assume means it wasn’t true, since people seem to chase these stories. When it happened, though, someone came charging at me with a “look what you hero CK did!” Again, I don’t think it’s a straight-up accusation of me. I don’t behave like the people who I enjoy watching perform. But I really don’t know what a person expects as a response when that happens.
I like the Lethal Weapon movies. Mel Gibson, in his age, has become a massive piece of shit, but I don’t think that disqualifies his movies from being entertaining.
I still like Gnarls Barkley, even though C-Lo Green is an awful person.
And while this Joss Whedon one stings (sort of like how I paradoxically think that Dan Harmon was awful to his ex-wife and is super-enjoyable and should be respected for his transparency), I’m not going to forsake his work, even if what his ex-wife said ends up being 100% true (and let’s be honest; the truth is probably in the middle. Break-ups aren’t notoriously places where people are fair to each other).
I know someone, at some point, will come at me for using Buffy and Dollhouse in my classes. Here’s my response:
If you live in America, your 20 bills have the face of a man who raped and pillaged my people. Your cities sit on the land of my ancestors, your flag is a war banner, you have signs that decorate the trail of tears that people stop and marvel at and take pictures with.
The President of this country talked about wanting to have sex with his own daughter and grabbing women by their genitals.
This country is based on people who did awful fucking things.
I will judge those people, but I’m not going to judge the things they made or the people who respect the things they made that aren’t obviously inspired by evil intent. I don’t think there’s a problem with disliking the politics of a person or the history of a thing and still respecting art or creations from that person.
If we get to the point where we trace these lines too carefully, we won’t be able to consume or like much of anything, because we live in a world full of flawed, messed up people. And if you’re like me, you don’t agree with a number of things that other people do or choose to say or endorse.
We don’t have to hate people we don’t agree with.
We don’t have to hate anyone.
In fact the whole answer is to NOT hate everyone and everything.