Imagine my surprise, a few weeks ago, when I received an email from CCCC informing me that my panel, entitled “Killer Mike, Kurt Cobain and the Imperative of Rage” was accepted to the 2018 program. This acceptance came on the heels of this post and this follow-up. In those two pieces, I think I made it pretty clear that I wouldn’t attend the conference if it was held in Kansas City. The conference IS happening in Kansas City.
Thanks for seeing the value in my work, CCCC. I am, as I always am when accepted, humbled. I know it’s a large submission pool. Don’t take my disappointment with your handling of the location give the impression that I’m not still honored to be invited.
Before I go any deeper into this letter, I want to specify a few things:
1. I had two co-panelists. I do not speak for them. They are making their own decisions.
2. I don’t actually believe that the people making the panel decisions read my letter about not attending if they didn’t change venue or make remote presentations possible. I’m not that much of an egomaniac.
3. I realize what I’m about to suggest is not one of the options offered when asked to accept or decline an invitation to speak. I am making the request specifically because this is a unique situation.
That said, I honestly feel like CCCC’s executive committee is listening, but it isn’t hearing. One of the things that almost all of us calling for a change in the CCCC situation asked for was technical support for remote presentation. I personally suggested I could coordinate with Twitch.tv to allow for presentations. We urged for the organization to consider what it was doing in asking POC to come to Kansas City.
That request was largely ignored. And I get it. It’s all about money and the organization’s unwillingness to be nimble, unwillingness to flex and bend. That’s how institutions– particularly in the academy–work. I understand that. And I don’t mean for my expressing my opinion to make anyone think that I have animosity toward the individuals involved in making this decision. I can respect that they’re doing what they need to do. I just think it was an awful decision.
So I decline the offer to attend the on-ground conference, but I am going to make an offer.
Actually, I’m going to do something, and I’m going to make an offer to enact inclusion. My presentation was the “Killer Mike” part of our title, and I had planned to present on the value of anger/rage in protests. It’s so timely given this situation and the last year of politics in America. So I’m going to go live on Twitch at the time my panel was scheduled, March 15 at 10:30 am, and I’m going to talk about the topic and then take questions from anyone who is watching the stream.
If CCCC would like to find a place to allow an audience to interact with me on Twitch with a screen and wifi, that’d be awesome. It wouldn’t be hard at all. But if not, I’m going to present to whoever wants to be involved, but I am NOT going to go to a place that I already vowed I wouldn’t. Anyone who protested the location but goes does the field a disservice. I will not join their numbers.
It bothers me that I’ve seen rumbles on Facebook that people who were vocal about wanting a change of venue are now vocally hyping their panels (older, more established scholars have been “throwing shade” about it, to borrow a phrase used on me when I asked about the location decision).
I will not be going to KC, maybe ever again.
To people who are doing a 180 on this based on the anemic justification CCCC has offered, I offer pity. To those who fear not being a part of CCCC more than they fear what could happen in KC, I offer my condolences. It is a true shame that CCCC couldn’t figure this out. This conference didn’t have to go on basically as planned other than some sort of wedged-in community engagement. There was a message to send here. It wasn’t sent.
I’m going to stand for what I believe in, and keep to my word. I said I wouldn’t attend this event if it wasn’t moved, and it wasn’t. So I’m not going anywhere near it. I think it would benefit people to discuss the topic I proposed, though. Don’t take my desire to make a stand as a lack of the desire to be involved. There’s a nuance to this. Academics are good at white hat/black hat, but this isn’t one of those situations. An organization can be filled with good people and still do something that isn’t right. It doesn’t mean that there’s a villain and a hero.
I’m sure, though, I’m going to be vilified by some. Which is okay. I’d rather have a black hat if there are only two colors available to me. I’m sure some people don’t understand the value of protest. That’s what I was going to come talk about.
So I’m going to make that available to everyone.
CCCC can decide if it wants to include me.