As academics, I think many of us face a struggle I have faced for a while now; it’s hard to stay “normal’ in the eyes of the working class people you grew up with. It’s not so much that being an academic makes one a sellout. Or I guess that might be the case in the eyes of some. But it’s more about the fact that academics, by nature, think too hard. We do. Admit it. We try to be high minded about everything.
As an act of keeping myself grounded, I try to stick with some of the things I knew before I devoted myself to being a scholar. One of those things, and in fact the one I’d say is the most “redneck” (and maybe the only thing that one could call ‘redneck’ about me) is my once fervent and now just semi-devotional love of professional wrestling.
I come by it honestly, because there are three things I’ve always loved: 1) camp (not the place you go during the summer but what the Batman series with Adam West should be the shining example of) 2) Super heroes and the suspension of disbelief, and 3) storytelling that is blatantly pathos based. Watching pro wrestling isn’t about taking field notes and analyzing; it’s about getting absorbed into a world where guys throw catchphrases, hit each other with chairs, and some how in the end– even if it’s a long way off– the good guy triumphs over the bad guy. It’s about music and pyrotechnics and if you can smell what the Rock is cooking.
But I’d like to defend wresting as a hobby for a number of reasons, none of which any of you have to buy into, but I think most of which you will need to respect. I’m going to use lists again (me and my lists!), so first, why I still like and watch wrestling, in no rank order.
1) Television has turned to crap, basically. There’s Community and 30 Rock. There’s Fringe. There’s a bunch of good stuff on cable on hiatus. Then every Monday there’s a fresh serving of WWE Raw. I’m not a big enough fan to also watch on Friday, but they serve it up fresh then, too. There’s something to be said for a less involved, better acted (I know that seems impossible, but really, it is) soap opera with fire and people getting hit comically.
2) The more “professional” I get, the more it seems as if some force is trying to strip away my inner child. My inner child–back when he was just a kid– loved Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, Randy Savage and the Road Warriors. I still sometimes sing the Honky Tonk Man’s theme to myself while writing. It’s a tie to my youth.
3) It’s funny. Check out my man Sheamus here. Where else are you going to see a huge, muscle bound Ginger scream “you’re going down, fella!” then beat someone fake senseless without messing up a single spike on his glorious Conan O’Brien red hair? Nowhere else. In a world where real violence is shoved down our throat, wrestling is aggression that we know is staged by people we can easily see hanging out and laughing together afterward.
4) It’s a chance to turn your brain to the “enjoy” lobe and stop being critical of things. Many people claim this release from things like all of MTV and VH1’s programming. For me, it’s wresting and [Adult Swim]. If I’m watching RAW, I’m not worried about much of anything but watching RAW. I can quit being hyper-attentive and just relax.
5) A confession (Phill… secrets!). During the time between my finishing High School and college, a ran an online “role playing” e-wrestling federation, something I got involved with because of a friend’s little brother. They were trying to play but they all sucked at writing, so I helped them. And I got into it. For a while, I got really into it. I mean when you work 10 hours a day at Wal-Mart and take care of an elderly relative, you need something to do to relax in the late night hours. It was fun and actually made me a better writer (and briefly got me a job working for a wrestler). So sometimes I watch just to remember what it felt like to write some of the stuff myself.
And yes, if Vince McMahon called and offered me a job booking his product I would quit graduate school and take the job, and I’d love it.
So why does wrestling deserve to be defended? Maybe it doesn’t. But here’s something I’d suggest to anyone skeptical.
1) Give it a try. It’s probably not what you think it is (unless you base your opinion on the South Park episode that mocks pro wrestling). It’s mostly story and guys trying to deliver cool “promos” on each other. The fake fighting isn’t nearly as much of the programming as it used to be.
2) But the fake fighting is pretty cool. It’s really more like dance, honestly (if you’re big on dance, you can disagree– I don’t know good dance from bad dance). They’re acrobats. It’s all choreographed. It’s a trip to watch some of these guys.
3) It’s a fun way to vent that anger wherein somewhere deep inside you want to plaster someone in the head with a steel chair. Vicarious fake violence release=better than you doing something violent.
4) It’s profoundly American. If you want to connect to what people who work all week so they can kick back and relax with a sixer and some wings, this is one of the things they do. And it’s a lot more exciting than watching NASCAR.
5) The larger-than-life aspect of things– the costumes, the music, the pyrotechnics– is good eye candy. If you want to just watch something that is visually interesting and lose yourself in that, WWE is pretty good at that.
6) Despite how much it is maligned, WWE is a kind hearted company. They do so much with make-a-wish and similar charities that it’s hard to keep track of it all, and every year they send their best performers over to do shows for the troops. You could accidentally support something less noble.
7) You’re going to see these guys somewhere else later. Look at Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson. If you have kids, you’ve seen him in lots of Disney movies. If you don’t, you saw him “aim for the bushes.” Either way, he’s a legitimate movie star now, and he’s just the first of many.
So… that’s my case. I haven’t decided yet if I will pay to see Wrestlemania, but if I do, I’m sure I will enjoy it. Just as I’ve been enjoying vicariously beating up the Undertaker and the Miz as my fantasy wrestler “Xander the Nightmare” in WWE All-Stars.
Academic, be not proud. This above all, to thine own self be true.
I own a Sheamus Celtic Warrior t-shirt. I wore it on my girlfriend’s birthday. I won’t apologize. See me, love me, smell what the Phill is cookin’. And that’s the bottom line, because Alexander said so.
Too many limes!
-Phill