Today I spent my entire day– 12 hours straight– in the Esports Arena on campus. I lugged tables, I cleaned, I helped install new tables, I built things, I ran lights. I had some help, but I did the majority of the work myself.
I don’t share that because I want a cookie or anything like that.
Actually, I would love a cookie. But I don’t feel special or anything because of working a hard day.
I share this because of three things:
- I’m tired and the clock is ticking and I’m up at 6 am, so this is going to be a short blog post
- I want to make sure that people who don’t understand academia know that lugging heavy stuff and building furniture that came with no directions is part of the glorious job description
- I want to very flatly say that while I’m exhausted, I enjoyed it, and I’d gladly give that same 12 hours for my students and their dreams any time it is needed.
We recently had to make a cut in our Esports program. It was a small cut, a strategically wise cut, but I feel bad for the few players it did impact. I never want anyone to feel like they’ve lost an opportunity. But as I’ve tried to talk to one of the students impacted, I’ve finally realized the truth of something I always tried to avoid: if you’re in charge, you have to do what you have to do for the best of the thing you are in charge of, and sometimes that means being the bad guy to someone for the better of everyone else.
I used to jokingly invoke Lex Luthor from Smallville in saying “Turns out you were right, Mr. Kent. I am the villain of the story.” In this case, I think I actually am. But it also illustrates the slippery slope we all live on.
The choice we made was the right one. I am certain of that. And it wasn’t my choice alone, though I am the one who shared the information and I’m the one taking responsibility for it. There isn’t any way in which it is the wrong decision.
Unless…
Unless you’re the person who lost his program. In that case, what else could I be? I’m the one who said “no, it’s over. I’m sorry.” And yes, I was kind. And yes, I’m letting him vent and letting him make his case. But in his world, I’m the villain.
I think it does me good in looking at the world to see that. I can imagine being him– and I’ve lost spots and chances at things in my life. I blogged about losing an opportunity at a project earlier this summer. And at the time I said that I knew it was for the best of everyone else but that I felt a little betrayed that no one went to bat to keep me around.
I can see this student saying that to me, too.
I hope I can teach him to use this as a positive experience, to learn and to grow. I’m going to continue supporting him, but the decision we made about his team is one of those things that was a painful decision. There’s no revisiting it. Not right now.
So hey, Mr. Kent, looks like you were at least partly right.
I tip my black hat to you.