10. If you want to discuss politics, the very best place, time and method for doing that is yelling as loud as you can in a packed city center full of people who have gathered to have fun. Nothing will go wrong.
9. Everyone wants to be an elf because elves are sexy. Only little kids want to be human. No one ever wanted to be a Troll.
8. If you see someone carrying something you really want, getting four people to help you beat them up (9 if they’re big, 24 if they are huge) will give you a chance of picking it up when the fight is over…
7. But, ironically, if you need to collect 10 feathers from a bird, there is absolutely no chance of getting them all from one bird, and sometimes a bird that is just covered in feathers won’t drop even one feather on the ground.
6. If you like animals all you have to do is stare at them for a brief period of time and they’ll become your obedient companions.
5. If you carry a stone with a spiral carved into it in your pocket, all you have to do is rub it really hard and it’ll send you home. Once an hour.
4. There is no dilemma a Chuck Norris joke cannot solve.
3. If you can’t handle a difficult task, all you have to do is insult someone, turn off your computer, and disappear. No one will remember tomorrow, and the task will still be sitting there waiting for you.
2. All your old enemies are still standing in the last place where you fought with them, and they won’t do a single thing unless you pull them.
1. When you’re not ready for the next task in life, all you have to do is walk around looking for people with ! over their heads. They’ll keep you busy until you are finally prepared.